Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
His nipple licking is glorious
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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