We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
