Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
BRING THE BAGELS
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
