she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
