I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
