quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
