? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
