I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
