we have officially lost it.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
