I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
