I think I am morally bankrupt
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
