3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Randomize
