so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
