Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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