My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
