I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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