I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize