I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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