he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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