Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're hired as official boob wrangler
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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