Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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