i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
