You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
