It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
