Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
