But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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