I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
