I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
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It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
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I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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