it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
