My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
my poor anus
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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