im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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