I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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