hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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