her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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