is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
