Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
