operation harelip BJ is a go
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
