Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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