Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
