This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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