All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
