I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The chlamydia really affected his face.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
