you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
