the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
This is the high leading the old right now
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
