After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
