I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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