Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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