But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
