I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
