So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
