She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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