Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
