The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
