You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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