I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
