Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
