We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
