You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
