I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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