Moan for me like Helen Keller
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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