I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
