I'm lost and stupid without you.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
