It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
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Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
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So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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