Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
