You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize