omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
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I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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