Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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