Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
