let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
