It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
