it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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