And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
